My Fiancé’s Best Friends

My fiancé is very protective of his change jar…over-protective. He likes to count change, repetitively. Once, I found him sitting on the bed surrounded by change. He grabbed some, tossed them in the air, grabbed some more, etc, etc. What a child!

Yesterday, we were getting changed to go out. I grabbed a jacket I have not worn in a long time. What do I find? Change!

There were dollar coins, two dollar coins, and lots of them!

I showed them to my fiancé, and this was the conversation that followed.

Me – “See what I found!”

My fiancé – “ OH MY GOD, where have you guys been??” (referring to the change)

Me – “Who?”

My fiancé – “ YOU STOLE MY CHANGE!! Look, this is little Billie, this is Georgie, and this one here is Bobbie….”

Me – “You named your change???”

My fiancé – “Yeah, what’s wrong with that?”

So, I backed away slowly and left him with Billie, Georgie, Bobbie, and their fellow brothers and sisters.

Years ago, I was excited that he has learnt how to budget and keep track of money. Then, I was thrilled that he was keeping a change jar. Now, I am just a bit worried. Maybe it’s gone too far.

Google Adsense Misconceptions (Part 1)

Google Adsense creates a lot of misery and frustration for most bloggers. The most common question I come across is "I only made $0.23 in one year, but I have so many hits!!". After answering these questions on various blogs, I got tired. So, here is the most simple way I can explain this mystery.

What Kind of Hits Do You Have?

Let me guess, you read somewhere "The more hits you get, the more clicks you get, and the more money you will make".

Argh....

You need TARGETED HITS, not just any hits. At the beginning, every blogger cheats. We join free traffic exchanges, sign up for referral schemes, put up those banners on our sites. Why? Because someone told us that "The more hits you get, the more clicks you get, and the more money you will make".

If your blog is geared towards making affiliate and Google Adsense money, why do you circulate it amongst people who are after the same thing? They will NEVER be interested in what you have to say, because most likely your blog is about METALS, RECIPES, some wierd GPS SYSTEM, or a MEDICAL CONDITION of sorts. Everyone can see what you are up to, and NO ONE CLICKS (some of this is purely out of spite too!).

So, all of your tens of thousands of hits are cheater hits, and while you are diligently waiting 20 seconds to get a credit, you are wasting time you could have used to actually think of a plan. Okay, this plan can start with SUBMITTING YOUR SITE TO SEARCH ENGINES!

ARGH!!!!

Why do you even have ads on your page when you haven't even submitted your site. Yes, YOU! You know who you are.

Your Perfect Hit: Me! 3 Years Ago!

Think of your perfect customer as who I was three years ago....younger, internet savvy but not too familiar with all money making opportunities on the web, and most importantly curiously searching the net everyday. If I want to know the best place to retire in the Caribbean, I am going to search until my fingers go number. I type in the search bar "The Best Place to Retire In the Caribbean", I click, click, click, unaware of whether I am clicking on a link or an ad, because really, I just can't bother to see the little words "Ads for Google". As far as I am concerned, I thought I was clicking on links! Gosh, I was such a great customer!

Your Worst Nightmare: Me! Now!

I will most likely NEVER click on your ad. I know how you make money, what you have done to your site to trick me, and I just won't fall for it. So, think of me, and think of say Blog Explosion, and think of how it is full of people like me. So, why would you put yourself in that situation?

Can You Name 10 Sites That Have Free Adsense/SEO/Web Tools?

A big part of succeeding is knowing your stuff. I can name 10 sites, but I am nowhere near an expert.

If you can't, what are you doing??? Go now and read, read, read!

The,It,I,You,Me,A,.......

You open someone else's site, and viola, all the adsense ads pop up and they are entirely geared towards the content. Then, you open up your site, and you get ad space is blank, and strange Blog ads pop up once in awhile. So, you wonder why?

Read this entry. I barely have any keywords. I use generic words that you can find anywhere, because it is geared towards making you see my point. Most of my content is insulting your intelligence, and it is littered with words like "The, it, you, i me, a, and, so, why...", etc. Then, go to this entry, and you will see how ads pop up nicely, fitting to the content. It is focused on a niche subject (very few people talk about the Glover Reef Atoll, perhaps too niche).

To All the Anorexics Out There...

To all the Anorexic Girls Out There:

I deeply apologize for making fun of your kind.

Yesterday, I made one more comment towards one of your fellow club members, and although I did not feel bad about it, I feel the need to apologize deeply for hurting one of you. While I am at it, I might as well apologize for all the things I said or did to your kind.

I apologize for calling you fat.

I apologize for eating a McDonald cheeseburger and fries drenched in grease and ketchup in front of Fitness World.

I apologize for recommending Jenny Craig to you.

I apologize for questioning why you threw away that full plate of perfectly good food.

I apologize for not responding to your question of "Do I look fat?".

I apologize for telling you that eating a lot of rice, bread, and spaghetti will help you lose a few pounds.

I apologize for explaining to you that not eating because children in Africa are starving is just not a good enough reason to not eat food.

I apologize for noticing that your teeth are rotting because of the stomach acid from your vomit.

Overall, I apologize for a lot of things, but most importantly, I apologize for telling you that on some days, you look like a young boy.

Perhaps I should tell you why I make fun of you. Your only conversation with me is to draw attention to your body. All those "do I look fat" or "my butt burns from doing 6 hours of exercising yesterday" or "how do I look in these jeans" questions are starting to get to me.

At first I entertained you, but then I just ridiculed you. I figure that if you really want to have an answer, I will give you an answer you are not going to like. This all leads to you not ever asking me the same questions again. You know, we can talk about other things, like world peace, love for animals, or even about aliens probing humans on earth.

So there, I am sorry.

Poor Nick Lachey

Poor Nick Lachey....

On the Newlywed reality show, the guy was clearly in the shadow of Jessica Simpson. While her career was taking off, mostly because of the show, his was going nowhere.

While watching the old shows, I always wondered why they did not divorce sooner. They have nothing in common, Jessica Simpson can't carry on a decent conversation if her life depended on it. Nick Lachey was the puppy dog who followed her around. It was painful the watch. The whole "chicken of the sea" comment was just down right stupid.

In fact, I suspected that....

- They did not sleep in the same bedroom
- Nick Lachey hates Jessica Simpson's guts, but she was his sugar-mama
- Jessica Simpson was cheating on him with numerous men
- Jessica Simpson does not know how to spell her own name
- Nick Lachey was cheating on Jessica Simpson with her sister

hehe....

Now, after the split of these two celebrities, Nick is still mouching off her trying to get spousal support.....HA!

Second Day in Church

This morning, I went to Church for the second time.

It is Orthodox Palm Sunday, which is different from the Catholic Palm Sunday. Even the Easter holidays are not the same. This itself is a clear indication that there is a deep division between the Eastern Orthodox and Western Catholic Churches. Apparently, we can't even agree on when to celebrate Easter.

The Easter date is based on a formula, and there are some complicated interpretations of the Easter formula.

The formula is - The first Sunday after the first full moon on or after the vernal equinox.

Both Easter and Western Christian Churches agree that this is the correct formula; however they use different calendars. The Western Church uses the Gregorian Calendar to calculator the date of Easter, and the Easter Church uses the Julian Calendar. Most of the world uses the Gregorian Calendar which says that:

" an ordinary year consists of 365 days. A leap year of 366 days occurs in every year whose number is exactly divisible by 4 except centenary years whose numbers are not exactly divisible by 400, as 1700, 1800, and 1900."

The Julian Calendar states that:

"established by Julius Caesar in 46 b.c., fixing the length of the year at 365 days and at 366 days every fourth year. There are 12 months of 30 or 31 days, except for February (which has 28 days with the exception of every fourth year, or leap year, when it has 29 days)."

In order to arrive at the Easter date, the formula considers ecclesiastical moons, paschal full moons, astronomical equinox, and the fixed equinox plus the differences between the two calendars. (I am actually lost at this point). The two Churches have different definitions of vernal equinox. The Eastern Church uses the actual, astronomical full moon and the actual equinox as observed along the meridian of Jerusalem, which is the site of the Ressurrection and Cruxifiction.

Why are there two Easters? Really, it's because the Eastern Orthodoxy has maintained the old and traditional way of calculating Easter, while the Western Churches use the modified Gregorian Calendar. There was an attempt to reconcile the two ways of calculating Easter, but nothing really came of it.

I sent an email to the Father of the Church inquiring about our meeting. The purpose of the meeting is to go over the procedures in becoming a catechumen and then an Orthodox. With my husband and my busy schedule, I hope he is flexible enough to accommodate us.

First Day in Church

Last Sunday, I met Father L at my new church. It was my very first time at an Orthodox Christian church, and as a beginner, I had a lot to learn.

First, I was scared as to what I am supposed to do when I enter the church. Other people seemed so comfortable in their surroundings and were kissing icons, doing crosses, and there seemed to be a way to actually enter the church. I was not aware of this, and did not even know that I was supposed to light a candle.

After that, the room was split into two sections, with the middle section clear. Everyone stood. That was one thing I thought was different. We don't sit in church, we stand. The elderly and the children sit, but most of the adults were standing...throughout the whole service. My feet were killing me, but I lasted okay. I was not offered communion because I am not baptised, but I was able to get some bread. There was harmonized singing throughout the entire service. Everything was sang! It was so angelic!

I liked my first experience and just wished that I could have known more about it before I went. But, I guess that's what learning is all about. One last thing, everything is scented in church, and after I left, I could still smell the sweet scent until the next day!

Why Orthodoxy?

I chose Orthodoxy because of two reasons: the people I met, and the Orthodox views.

My Preliminary Learnings of Orthodox Christian Views (The ones I like!)

Going to Church on Sundays is not necessarily viewed as worshipping God. The purpose is actually to receive spirtual nourishment through God so that we can take on the world for the next week. God is here to give us guidance and help, and it is up to us whether to take his help. It is no wonder that some people say that they feel spiritually empty when they have missed Church. I never understood this and saw going to Church more of an obligation. I now know that this was the wrong approach.

Christianity is like a tree. Before the Great Schism, Catholics and Orthodox were one, and after the separation, most of the present day Protestant Churchs are branches of Catholicism. Orthodox has remained unchanged.

Fasting shouldn't be seen as depriving the body of nutrients or a test of will power. It is really to clear your mind or free your mind so that you can think of God clearly. I can't wait to fast!

The Holy Light of Jerusalem is only received by Orthodox Christians. This tradition has been ongoing for 1000 years, and even when other Churchs tried to receive the light, only the Orthodox Patriarch has been successful in receiving this flame from God. Many people consider this to be the greatest miracle of all and great proof for the existence of God and that Orthodoxy is the choosen religion.

These are all that I can remember for now, but there are many others.In the end, I choose Orthodoxy because although many people see it as a conservative Church, I think it is actually quite liberal in its thinking, yet takes nothing out and adds nothing new to the Bible. It uses philosophy and science as a way to defend its position and beliefs rather than using them to come up with new beliefs. It is both philosophical and spiritual.

Reflections on My Buy-A-Groupie Website

Sometime ago, I was a groupie for Jeff. Jeff used to have a Online Gambling website and a online gambling blog. He asked for 10 groupies to post comments on his website. In exchange, he would visit his groupies' sites and post comments. I was a groupie, and then Jeff just disappeared, along with his sites.

So, I took his idea one step further. I started the Buy-a-Groupie site, where bloggers can buy services ranging from $1.00 to $100.00. They are designed to help bloggers to promote their sites and gain traffic. It has been a few months since I started the Buy-a-Groupie site, and I have made some observations.

IT IS A COOL IDEA

I receive a lot of emails and comments about how the idea is very cool and unique. At the same time, the people who tell me my ideas are cool do not buy my services. I have no idea what they are waiting for. If the same people who tell me it's a cool idea would buy my services, I would be doing QUITE well.

I DO A LOT OF WORK FOR $1.00 A MONTH!

The worst service I have is the $1.00 a month groupie service. I write four articles to promote the client's site, I post comments on every single one of the clients' postings, and I have a link to the client's site. So, for $1.00, I do all of the above. It started okay, because I only had one customer. Then, people started to sign up, and I was writing articles on a regular basis. An article usually takes me about 10 minutes to write and 20 minutes to research. By research, I mean going to the client's website and find something to write about. I am not sure if this is the best way to earn a buck.

THE SERVICE WITH THE BEST RESULT

The service that truly builds traffic is where the clients buy comments. No argument here. My Buy-a-Groupie site is new, and I don't have a lot of traffic, so advertising on my site is probably only worth $1.00 a month. However, when I post comments for say the Rob In China site, there is definitely an increase in traffic. I was happy to see that Rob's 0-2 comments a day increased to 4-10 comments a day since he purchased my service. He was also my first customer.

SOME PEOPLE HATE ME

I realized that I cannot post a comment on a blogger's site and mention my business. Okay, I was not spamming.....far from it! Usually, a blogger will have an article about building site traffic, and I comment on all the ways of doing so, including the premise of my Buy-a-Groupie site. Although what I post is relevant to the author's content, they are usually very angry at me and scream "spam!". Now, I am very careful and basically don't comment under Buy-a-Groupie at all. I do it under "Alana" instead. I am often surprised by how some people don't bother to visit my Groupie site and just automatically consider it a "spam" type of service.

IMPOSTER (RIGHT OR WRONG?)

So far, no one has brought this up, but for some of my services, a lot of bloggers are led to believe that I am the client. How does this happen? Well, I post what I think, I am vague about my sex and my location. Most of what I post for the clients do not include anything personal. They are simply my opinions on their articles. So, when the bloggers click on my clients' site, they actually have no idea that I have posted for the clients. Is this wrong? I figure I am adding value to bloggers' site by posting genuinely thoughtful comments. Is it wrong that I do the work and someone else gain the traffic?

Orthodox Easter and The Da Vinci Code

Why You Should Give Me $1.00 A Month to Promote YOUR BLOG!

It has been a pretty religious week!

By far, Easter is the most holy time for Christians, and this week has been hectic. There were church services nightly, and I could not make it to all of them....or any of them.

Tomorrow, I will go to Church as a part of my weekly visit, and that is all the time for spiritual nourishment.

Since I am a new Orthodox Christian, I was not aware that the Greek Orthodox Easter actually lands on different dates from Western Easter. Once in a while, the dates coincide. For example, we will be going to Easter mass next weekend instead of this week.

For someone like me, who is often unsure about dates, time, and can't recall people's names, the Orthodox Christian religion is perhaps not a good choice. There are many fasting dates, and I can never keep track of when to fast and when to stop. For now, I follow what others do and have to double check on many occasions. Does anyone know where I can buy an Orthodox calendar where it shows all the religious holidays and fasting dates??

Last night, I visited a friend who was 'born' into the Greek Orthodox religion. She has just finished reading The Da Vinci Code. Since then, she has many questions that are unanswered. Apparently, the book shook the foundation of many religons and the religious by getting them to question some of their fundamental believes. Before I go any further, I should read the book by Dan Brown.

Tomorrow at Church, I will be extra tired because I am coming off a graveyard shift....oh, the things I do for God's approval :)

Bimbos and Alpha Male Gorillas

During the day shift, I work for a government post-secondary school that trains police officers, paramedics, sheriffs, military personnel, fire-fighters and other professionals who make communities safe. There are many perks, which include watching recruits pass physicals, police dog shows or the amazing healthy foods in the cafeteria. By far, the most entertaining aspect of my job is watching bimbos and alpha male gorillas prance around doing mating dances.

Let me explain.

Everyone knows what a bimbo is, so no explanation is required there. An alpha male gorilla, on the other hand, are male students or co-workers who emit a large quantity of testosterone, occasionally beat their chests during territorial fights, and love to be surrounded by bimbos who have no problem picking fleas off their backs. I like to call them alpha male gorillas, because they bear resemblance in behavior.

There are two types of males at my work. One type has the rescue personality, and they are characterized by having a heightened sense of empathy and sensitivity and are performance driven. This type is not involved in any non-sense, and they come to school or work to learn, teach, and to better them. I like them! The other type worries me. They are territorial, confrontational, full of testosterone, slackers, immoral, cheats, sexist, and just have no business being in their profession. Everything that they do is to satisfy one urge: securing women and more women.

If we look at the animal world, they are just like alpha male gorillas in behavior. Let’s take a look at some of their characteristics:

The Stare

They love to stare at women, whether they are students or co-workers. They do not bother to hide it. In spite of the fact that they are in a professional school and a professional environment, they stare. Why do they stare? There are female gorillas nearby, and they can sense them from a mile away. They begin to touch their bald heads, as if they still have hair left. I used to think that was a nervous twitch. Then, they stand up and stand with both hands on their waist, one on each side, and try hard to suck in the beer belly. They stare some more…

Being Condescending

They believe that they know everything and they want you to know it! Aside from telling glorious stories about their adventurous profession (faking details sometimes), they also take every opportunity to put you in your place. This behavior is applied to both competing males and unsuspecting females. It is always difficult to decide whether to burst their bubble or pretend you are dumber.

Making Fun of Competing Male Gorillas….in Front of Bimbos

One particular alpha male gorilla comes to mind. He is famous for making fun of other male co-workers in front of female employees. Often, the other co-worker is present and has to run away with his tail between his legs. The alpha male’s dominance is secured, and he happily walks away with his trophy. He will repeat this behavior at the next battle for Bimbos’ company.

The Bimbos don’t help the situation. They play right into the trap. Let’s look at the characteristics of flea-picking Bimbos.

Drawing Attention to Their Bodies

It is not uncommon at my work to hear “I want a nose job!”, “My thighs are bigger today than yesterday”, or my favorite “Let’s go on a diet, it will be super fun!”. Are these teenagers? No, they are often 30 or 40 something married women. These comments kick up a notch in front of a dominating alpha male gorilla. Usually they are followed by “hehe…hehe…” and more “hehe…”. Although we are professionals, we don’t dress like professionals. I have seen bosoms slipping out, skirts that are too short or see-through, and a lot of caked on makeup. The alpha male gorillas love it!

Flea Picking Tendencies

When an alpha male gorilla has an itchy back, the Bimbos gather to pick fleas. This provides satisfaction for the male gorilla, and the Bimbos feel useful and probably get full from eating the fleas. It is that desire for fullness, usefulness, and securing an alpha male gorilla that fulfills their emotional and biological needs. Pickings can be slim at times, so some Bimbos migrate to secondary male gorillas and continue to pick fleas off their backs. For example, when an alpha male says “I have a great idea for this project. I think blah blah blah”, the Bimbos will reply “What a great idea for this project!!!! You are so smart!!!”. I am not kidding either…

Attacking Fellow Bimbos

One way to secure a male gorilla is to get rid of the competition. The Bimbos are all friends, but perception can be deceiving. There are a lot of Jerry Springer-ish fights behind the scenes. When a Bimbo is talking to an alpha male Gorilla, the other Bimbos will put on their lipsticks and try to join the conversation. The attack begins, all with a smile off course, and the winner is the last one standing.



After observing the mating dances, I came to one conclusion. It has everything to do with energy.

I genuinely enjoy watching the mating dances when the participants are not claimed (married or dating). It is the married gorillas and bimbos who worry me. I just think they are not very bright at conserving energy.

When the single gorillas and Bimbos are involved, they are directing energy to securing a mate, reproduction, and security. It is energy well-spent! By all means, dress more scandalous, show more cleavage, and go and attack your competitors! On the other hand, why do married gorillas and bimbos think this is beneficial? They exhaust a lot of energy, and often there isn’t a satisfactory result. I feel that unless they end up getting the alpha male gorilla and have his baby gorillas, then it is pointless….unless that’s what they want? In most situations, this is not what they want.

It is hard to be human and live with animal instincts. We put emphasis on loyalty, love, duty, morality and all the while, we are fighting our primal instincts. It is a constant struggle to live a life with reasoning. From my observation, human instincts win over human reasoning in most situations at work.

I am a Traveling Agent!

For the past two days, I have been acting as a traveling agent of sorts for my parents. They suddenly decided to go on a 12 day trip to Punta Uva in Costa Rica. After purchasing the airfare on April 3rd, they realized that they did not plan very well on where to stay and how to get to where they are going. So, they contacted me to arrange for accommodation and transportation.

I have learnt a very important lesson from all of this : Do not travel last minute! It is just stupid and creates headaches....mostly on my part. While my parents were relaxing, getting hair cuts, and packing their luggage, I was busting my @#$@!!@(*)& calling Costa Rica and calling my parents back to relay the messages. Actually the lesson can be : Do not travel last minute! Unless you contact me :)

After 2 days of headaches (literally), 12 Tylenols later, I learnt quite a few interesting and useful things.

GET VOIP (Voice Over IP)

I can't recommend this enough. I was setup for VOIP a year ago, and I bought the unlimited worldwide package. This means I can call anywhere in the world (actually, it's only about 60 countries) and only pay $56.00 a month. This amount includes the cost of the 'landline' and the long distance charges. Aside from the odd calls I make to U.S, Fiji, and China, I have not really tasted the full value of the package....until NOW! Boy, was it ever great to call Costa Rica whenever and for however long I wanted! I would have never been able to set up the transportation and accommodation had I only relied on emails. My $56.00 a month is finally paying off.

Smaller VOIP companies sometimes offer great monthly packages. Some can be found for as low as $9.99 a month, which includes only local calls. This is still significantly less expensive than regular telephone lines from your phone provider. However, VOIP does have its moments:

- Random connection problems.

- No 911 calls (on some VOIP plans)

- When your modem is out, so is your phone. This can get very frustrating.

PUNTA UVA LOOKS GREAT

I am very envious of my parents' trip. Punta Uva looks like a great place to live. Their reason for going is to buy a summer home, and I don't think they could have picked a better place. It is on the Carribbean side of Costa Rica, and it even has a living coral reef not far from shore. There is a good community of foreign homeowners, so my parents can rely on them for some extra help. It is about 4 hours outside of San Jose, so it is remote from the hussle and bussle of the city and away from crimes.

GREAT BUSINESS IDEA

It was incredibly painful to look for a bus to take my parents from the airport to Punta Uva (4 hours away). My biggest concern is safety. Most people don't know that the airport is actually outside of San Jose, and the bus station is in the city. Everyone knows that San Jose is not exactly the safest place, so getting my parents onto the bus was a problem. In addition, they have to wave down the bus on a highway, and this frightened me. Then, I found A Safe Passage. A driver picks you up from the airport, takes you to the bus stop, waves down the bus for you, and helps you to load your luggage onto the bus. For my parents' destination, it costs $70 U.S. What a great idea for first time tourists on their own! Of couse $70.00 is actually a fortune there, but it's worth the safey. John was the person I contacted at A Safe Passage, and he answered all of my questions patiently. I called a total of 4 times, and he was great every time and told me to take my time with the questions. In this price, it also includes stops at the bank, market or if you want to eat at a Tico restaurant. Basically, he ensures that you are relaxed and safe once you get off the plane.

Because of their age, my parents opted for the private transfer, which is $185 U.S, and John will take them directly fromt he airport to Punta Uva. He will even bring refreshments and alcohol for the passengers! On the way, he will stop at points of interest so my parents can take pictures or have something to eat. He is like their personal tour guide.

If I were to go to Costa Rica, I would not need this service, as I am still young and fairly adventurous and can get through with my broken Spanish. For seniors or other tourists on their own, I think it is a great service. Also, I wonder if other countries have similar businesses. For example, going to China on your own can be daunting. What would you do and where would you go if you need to get somewhere right away after landing at the airport? Let's say that you have to go to the outskirts of Beijing directly, and don't want to miss your bus and stay overnight in Beijing, how do you know where the bus station is located or how to get there? If you are leaving last minute, how can you buy the bus tickets?

There is money to be made in capitalizing on people's fears :)

BOOK YOUR AIRPORT PARKING ONLINE

My parents need to park their car at the Seattle airport during the trip, and I did some research online to find the right lot. There are so many parking lots!! My conclusion is that it is always less expensive to book online. For example, one online reservation site quoted one parking lot at $64.00 for 12 days. When I called the same company, it became $80.00. When I asked them about the cheaper rate, they said that's done through a consolidated company and not through them. Go to Airport Parking Reseravation, and you can reserve parking at most airports in the U.S. You only pay a small portion to reserve and can pay the difference when you get therThe rates are significantly less expensive online. Trust me, I called virtually all of them in Seattle.

I was suprised to know that I can learn quite a bit under pressure. Everything can be a great learning opportunity, in spite of the headaches.

------------------------------------------------

My parents' first accommodation (2 days) : Pachamama, owned by Stepano and Patrizia, very nice Italian couple.

My parents' second accommodation (8 days): Casa Viva, owned by Dave and Jeanie, also very nice on the phone and helpful.

Glover's Reef Atoll Resort (Update)

The Glover's Reef Atoll Resort has been receiving a mixture of reviews on the net. So, I think it is appropriate to present what I have found, the positive and the negative reviews from other travellers.

CONS

1) It is extremely rustic. Remember, it is not technically a 'resort', where you will have clean rooms, clean towels, or clean dishware. In fact, you have to bring your own towels and may be asked to help to clean the 9 acre island (1 hour per day).

2) Grandmother Marsha Jo may be a little bit off on some days, so you have to take her with a grain of salt. The Lomonts have owned the Glover's Reef Atoll Resort since the 1960s, so they are pretty set in their ways. Apparently, Becky, the daughter is a bit rough around the edges. So, you may not get the smiling hospitality that you expect.

3) The 3 hour catamaran ride from Sittee Point River may end up being a lot longer than 3 hours. One traveller complained of a 6 hour ride, because he said that Gilbert Lomont picked up another passager from another island for a fee. Also, I have an email from a fellow Canadian traveller that says it was 5 hours long due to wind factors.

4) Everything is on Belize time, so your dinner, lunch and breakfast may not be on time. Some travellers have complained that they were sometimes late by a few hours. Also, some people also said that dining with the Lomonts was a rough experience. One traveller alluded to a dinner table yelling match between the host and the diners over the topic of eating at MacDonalds, she also suggested that Becky was pretty drunk.

5) Since there is no running water on the island and no electricity, the water from the well smells of sulfur. You have to get the water from the well for showers. You have to bring your own towels, and you have to bring your own toilet paper :)

6) Some people have said that the beach is littered, and no one picks up the trash.

7) You may experience extreme boredom. Some travellers have said that they wanted to get off the island as soon as they arrived, all because of a combination of the above reasons. In order to get off the island, you are looking at $350 U.S one way.

8) The Glover Guest House in Sittee River is not in the best condition. There are lots of bugs, and the rooms are not exactly clean. Travellers have recommended in staying at Hopkins Village instead of the Glover Guest House.

9) You most likely have to bring your own food and bring it to the island for the week. While you can buy meal packages, but from what I have read, it is better to leave the Lomonts alone and cook your own.

10) The owner of the island has dogs, so they roam the island as if it is theirs (well...it is actually theirs). So, if you don't like dogs, this may not be the place for you.


PROS

1) It is the best location for diving, snorkeling and fishing. Look at the map below, and you will get a sense of what the atoll can offer. Snorkeling is great right off the shore, and you may not even need a kayak.



2) It is rustic, laid-back, and deserted.

3) It is very inexpensive, starting at $99.00 U.S per week for camping accommodation.

4) Warren, the Lomont's 14 year old grandson, is the best fishing and snorkeling guide you can get. All their grandkids are simply amazing. I have read many accounts of their generosity.

Source: http://www.bicyclediaries.co.uk/blog.html

http://www.belizeforum.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=10;t=000588

5) You can learn how to dive, all the way from getting your Open Water Diver's Certificate to Divemaster.

6) If you talk to no one, no one will talk to you. You can literally go for the whole week without speaking to anyone. It can be very quiet and peaceful.

7) The Lomonts can be friendly when they open up, especially the kids. There are travellers who love them, because they are excellent diving teachers and can offer invaluable advice when it comes to snorkeling and fishing locations.

8) Location, location, location!!! The island is so tiny that everything is 'beachfront'.

9) There is great reef kayaking, with 700 patch reefs in the lagoon.

10) No shopping malls....hehe....

MY CONCLUSIONS

1) Be Prepared! This is a week long trip that takes a lot of researching and planning.

2) Don't stay at the Glover's Guest House at Sittee River. Other travellers also agree with this one. If you can, stay in Hopkins village or Toucan Sittee, which is a lot better than Glover's Guest Hourse

3) Convince yourself that the Lomonts are kind enough to invite you to their island. They can't wait on you, and won't. They are sharing their home with you, and consider your $99.00 accommodation charge as a tip. Really, you just can't get that type of location for less. Picking up some litter is not really that bad. Essentially, you are their guests.

4) You will get out of it what you put in. If you are open to their way of life, then they will be more open to you. Marsha Jo is on and off. There are stories of her being grumpy, and there are stories of her being friendly. Becky is also on and off. What is consistant is that the grandkids are helpful and friendly. Overall, there are more positive stories about the hosts than negative ones.

5) Visiting Belize is more of an adventure than relaxation. You can't expect to visit Belize but not deal with Belizean culture, people, and ways of life. If you want a resort, it is safer to go to Manta Resort next door or Slickrock (for the more adventurous type). They charge significantly more.

6) Read all the information on Glover's Reef Atoll Resort's website. I mean ALL of it. It tells you what they have and don't have, so at least you are aware.

7) Read all the postings on the Belize Forum , until your eyes hurt.

8) The hermit crabs can be either a nuisance or your best friend. They come out at night, and they can clean your dirty dishes really well. If you roam around at night, you might find them annoying.

9) Imagine the Castaway Island, then add a little litter, kayaks, diving gear, huts, and some home cooked meals, and that is all your are getting.

10) This is the kind of place for travellers who have a budget, want to experience a third world country still relatively unspoiled and want to experience all of its beauty and limitations. If you want to relax at a resort, it is best to go elsewhere. If you are open minded, want a slice of paradise, decide what you want to do with your time rather than following tours, and want to experience true nature, then this may be the place for you.

SOME SUGGESTIONS FOR GLOVER'S REEF ATOLL RESORT

1) The resort should improve the condition of the Glover's Guest House at Sittee River. I am sure travellers don't mind a price increase.

2) The resort should also have a more realistic 'letter to travellers' that explains to people exactly what kind of resort this is. The website can be misleading to someone who does not dig deeper. Also, there is a lot of negative feedback about them on the net, and this can be bad for business. One disgruntled customer can influence thousands.

3) I would like to see a beginner's fishing package. I don't fish, but would like to learn, and there is no better place than the Glover's Reef Atoll. I am willing to pay for this.

When I come back from my trip, I will give you more first hand reports. For now, this is all you get. It is an accumulation of over 100 hours of research on the net from various forums, personal home pages, and blogs. During my research, I have also emailed a fellow Canadian from British Columbia, who provided me with a lengthy description of their stay there (they just left yesterday!). If you want to read it, email me at azhoua@gmail.com, and I will forward it to you.

One last thing, I have to say that the travellers who go to Belize are of a different breed. I have never encountered more friendly people (although most of our communication has been virtual). They are genuinely interested in helping, and are very eager to give detailed accounts of their travels. Never hesitate to ask. You will always receive useful information.

Other Glover's Atoll Resort Posts:

http://fullchangejar.blogspot.com/2007/01/much-anticipated-glovers-atoll-resort.html

http://fullchangejar.blogspot.com/2006/05/trip-planning-caves-branch-and-glovers.html