Hello LaDawna

On January 5th, I made some comments in "How do you use 24 hours?" that drew the attention of LaDawna McLeish, who left a comment under that posting. Here is my response.

Hello LaDawna,

First, I'd like to thank you for visiting the site and taking the time to explain your position.

If I have upset you, it certainly was not my intention. The comments I made are not meant to be personal, in fact, I can't say I considered your feelings when I wrote them. I was not criticising the people mentioned in the article, but the behaviours.

I do not read an article thinking that it reflects the whole truth. Any article will only reflect part of the truth, and yes, I was basing my opinions on part of the truth.

The article is titled "To feed a lifestyle, some are taking second jobs". And yes, based on the article, the assumption is that you are someone who wastes your money on a wedding, a dress, and a life style you can't afford......as the title and the contents suggest.

So here is my dilemma, the article says:

• You are working a second job to pay for the wedding.
• You would like lobsters and steaks for the guests.
• You would like a dress that costs upwards of $1000.
• You are a software engineer who makes more than $75,000 US.
• You have a $2000 monthly mortgage.

From your comment, I can see that shy of the dress (which you did not comment on), and the $2000 monthly mortgage (which you also did not comment on), the other points are still true. You may have a lot of sensible reasons for why things are the way they are, but in the end, you are still an above-average income-earner working a second job to pay for the wedding with lobsters. So far, I haven't made any assumptions. And I still think you are crazy.

On the other hand, if the article was titled "How to Plan a Wedding and Not Get into Debt", and it mentioned:

• You want to hold the wedding at your parents' home to save the venue cost.
• You are choosing daisies over the more expensive flowers.
• You are working a second job to fund your dream wedding without dipping into your savings.

Then, I would say that you are quite responsible and more people should be like you, but the lobster and steak dinner still makes me a little uncomfortable :)

I think maybe there is a bit of truth in both.

If you read my entire posting, you would know my points are:

a) I do not sleep much....
b) I do not sleep much because I work two jobs...
c) Wow, other people work two jobs too....
d) But, wow, they sure work for different reasons...
e) Some of these reasons are......a bit weird......to me...
f) Would I lose sleep for the same reasons? Probably not...
g) Why not? Because weddings can be inexpensive, yet great.
h) Why not? because vacations can be inexpensive, yet fun.
i) So, there is a lot of ways to not work two jobs and truly "afford" these "lifestyles", but you just have use your time to figure out how.
j) Why is it worth it? Because not sleeping much really really sucks.

At least, this was my thought process when I wrote the posting. So in the end, I am sorry to say, the article was not about you and your situation. It was kind of about me and my lack of sleep! You might feel that it's upsetting I used my "assumptions" of you and others' situations as a way to generate some thoughts of my own, but I think that's what an article is for: to use what's given to spark some related thoughts.

I also think the point of the article is to discuss the phenomenon of people choosing to take a second job rather than cutting back expenses, all in the pursuit of a better lifestyle, may it be a wedding or a vacation. There are only two ways to increase the money you keep at the end of the day: either make more or spend less. Traditionally, people choose to spend less, but now more and more people are choosing to make more. The article was more than fair.

All these things aside, I have some questions! Were you led to believe you were interviewed on a different topic? Are you going to do your own flowers? (i.e not going through a designer). I am trying to do my own flowers, and I came across this site http://www.marisolblooms.com/, where they sell wholesale to the public. I am not located in the States, so I do not qualify, but they seem to have more expensive flowers at reasonable prices. If you can do your own flowers and want to go with the traditionally more expensive ones, maybe you can check it out (online catelogue). I have no affiliations with this site and am not endorsing it. I just think it can be a great idea. On my end, I am going to get a GST number so that I can purchase wholesale from the auctions.

I wish your wedding is everything you hoped it to be!

P.S. $1000 is actually not that much for a wedding dress. It is probably on the low end of the wedding dress cost spectrum. My friend bought a used dress for $700, so that gives you an idea of how much a new one can cost.