During the day shift, I work for a government post-secondary school that trains police officers, paramedics, sheriffs, military personnel, fire-fighters and other professionals who make communities safe. There are many perks, which include watching recruits pass physicals, police dog shows or the amazing healthy foods in the cafeteria. By far, the most entertaining aspect of my job is watching bimbos and alpha male gorillas prance around doing mating dances.
Let me explain.
Everyone knows what a bimbo is, so no explanation is required there. An alpha male gorilla, on the other hand, are male students or co-workers who emit a large quantity of testosterone, occasionally beat their chests during territorial fights, and love to be surrounded by bimbos who have no problem picking fleas off their backs. I like to call them alpha male gorillas, because they bear resemblance in behavior.
There are two types of males at my work. One type has the rescue personality, and they are characterized by having a heightened sense of empathy and sensitivity and are performance driven. This type is not involved in any non-sense, and they come to school or work to learn, teach, and to better them. I like them! The other type worries me. They are territorial, confrontational, full of testosterone, slackers, immoral, cheats, sexist, and just have no business being in their profession. Everything that they do is to satisfy one urge: securing women and more women.
If we look at the animal world, they are just like alpha male gorillas in behavior. Let’s take a look at some of their characteristics:
The Stare
They love to stare at women, whether they are students or co-workers. They do not bother to hide it. In spite of the fact that they are in a professional school and a professional environment, they stare. Why do they stare? There are female gorillas nearby, and they can sense them from a mile away. They begin to touch their bald heads, as if they still have hair left. I used to think that was a nervous twitch. Then, they stand up and stand with both hands on their waist, one on each side, and try hard to suck in the beer belly. They stare some more…
Being Condescending
They believe that they know everything and they want you to know it! Aside from telling glorious stories about their adventurous profession (faking details sometimes), they also take every opportunity to put you in your place. This behavior is applied to both competing males and unsuspecting females. It is always difficult to decide whether to burst their bubble or pretend you are dumber.
Making Fun of Competing Male Gorillas….in Front of Bimbos
One particular alpha male gorilla comes to mind. He is famous for making fun of other male co-workers in front of female employees. Often, the other co-worker is present and has to run away with his tail between his legs. The alpha male’s dominance is secured, and he happily walks away with his trophy. He will repeat this behavior at the next battle for Bimbos’ company.
The Bimbos don’t help the situation. They play right into the trap. Let’s look at the characteristics of flea-picking Bimbos.
Drawing Attention to Their Bodies
Flea Picking Tendencies
When an alpha male gorilla has an itchy back, the Bimbos gather to pick fleas. This provides satisfaction for the male gorilla, and the Bimbos feel useful and probably get full from eating the fleas. It is that desire for fullness, usefulness, and securing an alpha male gorilla that fulfills their emotional and biological needs. Pickings can be slim at times, so some Bimbos migrate to secondary male gorillas and continue to pick fleas off their backs. For example, when an alpha male says “I have a great idea for this project. I think blah blah blah”, the Bimbos will reply “What a great idea for this project!!!! You are so smart!!!”. I am not kidding either…
Attacking Fellow Bimbos
One way to secure a male gorilla is to get rid of the competition. The Bimbos are all friends, but perception can be deceiving. There are a lot of Jerry Springer-ish fights behind the scenes. When a Bimbo is talking to an alpha male Gorilla, the other Bimbos will put on their lipsticks and try to join the conversation. The attack begins, all with a smile off course, and the winner is the last one standing.
After observing the mating dances, I came to one conclusion. It has everything to do with energy.
I genuinely enjoy watching the mating dances when the participants are not claimed (married or dating). It is the married gorillas and bimbos who worry me. I just think they are not very bright at conserving energy.
When the single gorillas and Bimbos are involved, they are directing energy to securing a mate, reproduction, and security. It is energy well-spent! By all means, dress more scandalous, show more cleavage, and go and attack your competitors! On the other hand, why do married gorillas and bimbos think this is beneficial? They exhaust a lot of energy, and often there isn’t a satisfactory result. I feel that unless they end up getting the alpha male gorilla and have his baby gorillas, then it is pointless….unless that’s what they want? In most situations, this is not what they want.
It is hard to be human and live with animal instincts. We put emphasis on loyalty, love, duty, morality and all the while, we are fighting our primal instincts. It is a constant struggle to live a life with reasoning. From my observation, human instincts win over human reasoning in most situations at work.
